34w 5d ..... are we there yet?

 It has been far too long since I have written and then actually posted what I wrote. I get half thoughts on a draft and then give up. Life and this pregnancy have me asking so many questions. The first and most important is when will she be here? I am so ready to have a baby to take care of instead of my pregnancy induced issues to take care of. I'm currently still going to PT twice a week. I have been getting help with my pelvic pain. Mostly in the pubic symphysis area. It seems as though its stemming from my SI joint being tight/locked up. So we do exercises and some massage on my lower back each time. And then I have been able to mix in getting help with my carpal tunnel (that has only been around since pregnancy) and plantar fasciitis that just flared up this week. I have assigned weekly exercises for each thing. I am better at doing the stretches than anything, but I struggle with moving enough so it is all a big catch 22. I know my weight is an issue, but I did lose weight before I got pregnant. Just not as much as I would've liked. I have been trying really hard to stay on top of things with the Gestational Diabetes I have going on too. I have been dealing with that since the beginning of October. I started out just taking my blood sugars 4 times a day. Then after a couple weeks of just watching what I eat and taking sugars they wouldn't be controlled with just diet, so I started taking a nighttime insulin. Long acting one (Levemir) in a pen form. I'm pretty sure I have had to increase the dosage every week since starting it. Somewhere along the way they added in Humalog as well with each meal. And then of course I've been increasing dosing with that each week as well. I was informed that I will probably have to continue the course for 6 weeks as I wean  myself off of insulin after baby is born too. I had gotten  my hopes up that I could quit cold turkey. Darn. No can do. I'm still holding out for a December 26th induction if she doesn't come on her own before then. Everything being so hard to control is just wearing on me mentally. I have also been going in to the doctors office twice a week to get NST's (non stress tests) They basically just hook me up to a couple monitors. They are checking to see if I am having contractions with one band and then with the other band on my belly they are trying to hear the baby's heartbeat for a continued amount of time. It needs to be continually having the ups and downs. She moves so much it's hard to get usually. Which is a good sign in and of itself. On this last tuesday they couldn't get a sufficient NST and so they had me walk over to another room and do a BPP. (biophysical profile ultrasound) Basically they took some measurements of her diaphram moving and heart beating and then checked the cord pulse as well. No measurements with how big she was at that point though. I should've asked why we didn't check that. I think the most surprising thing from my visits is that my blood pressure was low for me. 108/58 isn't too low, but it felt weird for me to hear someone tell me that it was my blood pressure. I guess I have been avoiding salt and eating less and its been mostly good foods, sooo I'm being healthier and I'm on blood pressure  medication. Other than the aches and pains of a body growing to hold a child I guess I'm doing alright. My hormones must be messing with  my head though. It's all just mental toughness for me right now. I want to be able to go and do things but my body is in pain. And I know I've been extra cranky. I will say its a love hate relationship with feeling so many kicks and movements from the baby. I am glad that I get to go in and hear the heartbeat so much. If anything were to come up I feel like we would catch it quickly. I know they want her to keep inside for the longest time possible, but also they worry about having too big of a baby with a mom having GD. They haven't really ever sounded worried, its all routine, but I know you have to be really objective when talking to patients. 

Sooo that is my personal pregnancy related health junk. I am going to get some maternity photos done this coming week. That should be fun....I hope. I didn't do it with little Brett's pregnancy and I think I would regret it if I didn't do it at least once. Who knows if I will have another too. 

Today is thanksgiving. Brett just finished a run and is soaking now. I guess we are going to go spend time with his family and then see what else the day has in store for us. I want to make a veggie / cheese/ cracker tray to share. I was just going to work on it when I got to Grandma's house. We will see how that goes. We are brining thanksgiving candy corn to share as well. I also told lil B I would make a cookie dough dip for animal crackers. Allll sorts of stuff I can't eat myself. I need to definitely  not forget my insulin pens today. That would be bad. 

I guess I didn't up date on any of the other stuff that went down in the last month. My parents came to visit. It was nice to have them around for a week. We still had pretty good weather outside. We worked on starting to get the kids room ready for the baby. My dad helped fix a few things in the bathroom that needed work and he cleaned out our garage. We took a few loads of things to the dump. That might have been my favorite part. YAY...we got rid of so much stuff. We went out to eat a couple times and did a little bit of shopping. We wanted to decorate for christmas while they were here, but thankfully we didn't pull any of that stuff out. Too many big jobs happening all at once. My mom and sister helped throw a baby shower that first weekend in November. We had a pretty good turn out of people in and out. I'm glad it wasn't a whole houseload of people for too long. Made me feel better and safer that we weren't spreading too many germs and socializing too much. 

We actually got out the christmas stuff a couple days ago and its a long process since I'm not helping much. Brett got us a new tree from someone online. We love the idea that it is prelit. we will see how it turns out. Perhaps we will decorate it on saturday of this week. 

Little Brett is so excited to turn 5 this year. I can't wait to give him all the stuff we got him for his bday. I think he will be pretty excited. 

Brett is basically done on campus now. That is crazy. They have a few finals that will be online, but he will be graduating in a virtual ceremony in a couple weeks. I have no idea of the details yet or I would post them. Maybe I will do that later. We have some Christmas cards that we will be sending out that have his graduation photos on them as well. It would've been nice to combine a new baby announcement with it, but that would be a lot to just wait and do them all together, so I said, baby gets her own announcement when the time comes. Maybe we will just take pictures when she gets blessed and then send those out. ohhh that is a big part of what I had my mom do while she was here. She cut my wedding dress all up to make a baby blessing dress out of it. I'm looking forward to seeing how it turns out. We spent maybe $75 6 years ago on that dress so its kind of fun to see it get repurposed into a blessing dress for my little girl. And in case you are wondering, no we have no name yet. We sometimes refer to her as the "one who has no name" haha She won't leave the hospital/birthing center without a name though. Only time will tell what name hits us to use that day. 

If you stuck around this long....I'm impressed. 

Only a few more weeks until christmas and the baby and 2020 is officially over. Bring on 2021.

26 week update....

 Where the heck have a been? I have been in the space where I've been meaning to write something here forever, but....  I'm going to blame it on Brett always being on the laptop with school and what not when I'm in the mood to write. It is not happening on my phone. I have been in physical therapy for a few weeks now. I think at least 5 weeks. Snake river physical therapy has been helping me stay on top of tiny exercises to help my pelvis. I have tight muscles in my low back that just make movement in my pelvis stuck. It's awful. I have honestly been averaging 3500 steps a day. Which is crazy low, but when I get those steps in I'm totally worn out. I know its important to keep moving but man alive is it tough. I should be doing pelvic tilts and stretches and then also I have been getting work on my neck/arm on my right side. OHH big news. We finally got our new nectar bed set up and working. I'd say it's only half working though. There should be a remote for the beds. They came broken though. They wouldn't connect to the bed. We got two twin xls. Which putting them together is a "split king". It's an adjustable bed and Brett and I wanted to be able to move individually. It was a bday/christmas gift that we got early. Got some help from our parents and my sister. Sooo thank you for the early gifts everyone. This pregnant gal appreciates it. I have been feeling the baby move lots for at least a solid two weeks. I have also been experiencing braxton hicks contractions for a couple weeks too. I don't recall ever feeling them when I was pregnant with little Brett. No mistaking what I'm feeling though. My next baby doc appointment is on monday. The last one I had was about 4 weeks ago. Baby's heartbeat was at a 150 bpm. I feel like it was the shortest appointment ever. I didn't have any questions though. They had to use the ultrasound equipment to see the heartbeat. She is/was sitting really low so the Doctor Averett was looking too high for her and couldn't see her. September 17th was my last day at work. I'm so glad I am done. I was just getting tired of the stress that it brought. I think if I wasn't having a baby I could've dealt better. 2020 just hit me with all sorts of surprises. I'm not alone in that I know, but working and being pregnant isn't fun for me. Actually I don't exactly love being pregnant. I have still had to deal with feeling nausea. I was going to get some cavities filled. I had an appointment on thursday. I got my tooth numbed and then I gagged so much they couldn't put protectors next to my cheek. I had to just leave after a half hour of being there. Its so frustrating because I don't generally dislike the dentist and I've never had such issues. Silver lining= my teeth have really been aching. So although I may need cavities filled, it can wait a little bit I guess. I know Brett wishes he could feel the baby move, but he hasn't been able to yet. We still haven't agreed on a name. 

Baby chat

I guess I haven't publicly posted on my blog that I'm pregnant. I'm sort of just saving posts in my drafts section as journals. I guess I should give a little public update. I am pregnant! 19 weeks today! We are having a girl according to the blood test we got a few weeks ago. We will be having an anatomy scan ultrasound next friday. Everything has gone ok so far. I am taking a daily aspirin and prenatals. Trying to stay on top of my health as much as possible. We have gotten to hear the heartbeat a few times now. It is always relieving to hear the heartbeat at the appointments. I have not been feeling normal at all. I am super emotional. I am having all the ups and downs. I have been dealing with a sort of nausea that has made me puke with a few random nasty smells, but mostly just an inability to wear tight clothes and high necklines and my wedding ring. I don't love wearing tennis shoes. I have been wearing my new birkenstocks that I got most of the time. That is okay unless I'm on my feet too much. Then I have massive swelling in my feet. I have had a sleep study and ended up getting put on a CPAP machine. I know it has helped a little but its sort of frustrating getting adjusted to it. I want a new bed and I want a home with central air, but other than that Im not too picky. JK. I have been living on peanut butter cracker sandwich packs for breakfast. I've been to a chiropractor twice already. I'm so hoping to stay away from my sugary foods and stay on supplements that help my insulin levels stay regulated. I really don't want to have to take that 3 hour glucose test again. Keeping my drink down for 3 hours while fasting was difficult. Brett and I have been tossing a few names around. I never thought it would be so hard to decide on a name for a baby girl. I have been able to get a brace for my belly, but I have yet to actually wear it. Today has been the day that my pelvis has felt the worst, but I'm just trying to rest. I haven't quit my job yet, but the way I feel today makes me think I'm not going to make it as long as I would like to. Not sure there is much more I can update on right now, but surprise! I'm pregnant and I'll be having a baby before christmas. That math might not add up, but yeahhh I'll be having another december baby. So crazy.

What a world we live in

It's a little bit funny to me that we are reading Charlotte's Web to my kid right now. I keep thinking how the world back then was so different. Maybe its just farm life in any time. I don't exactly know. I have never lived in a farm, but its definitely a different world then, as opposed to now. I figured if I didn't start to write some of it down I would forget it all.

I haven't been working outside of my home for 5 years. Not really. A little bit of massage, but not much. I haven't had an employer. I have been basically doing home things and doing the mom thing. It was solidly taking up, or well, rather, using my time up fairly well. I just have been in a funk for awhile. I have been thinking for awhile that I needed a job. I needed to get out out and feel important, or make friends or something. It was the social aspect of my life that I was missing. I let myself drop off the face of the earth. We haven't been blessed with a second child yet, and my kid is just so much of a  handful and sometimes, believe it or not I think he just talks to much. haha. I sound ridiculous. I know. I think I was just trying to tell myself all of the reasons it would be okay if I had my child go to a daycare/preschool. Long story short....I got a job in january. Bannock County Veteran's Services Admin assistant. My kid started a preschool/daycare. Then less than 3 months in.... I have to work from home??!! It sucks. I mean to keep it short. There isn't a whole lot I can do from home.

The whole Covid-19 Pandemic.... it's only gotten more strange around the world. Not working from home. Trying to not go to the store. I have done fairly ok in that arena. I have only had Brett or I walk in when we need to pick up my perscription medication. It seems like it started March 17th. I don't know that specific dates matter. I do know that my anniversary weekend was kind of screwed up. I mean we did go with my in laws to Lava Hot Springs. We did kind of wonder why it was still open when everything else was closed, but we took advantage one last weekend. I mean, I would've liked to have gone to Utah and stayed in our fancy hotel and gotten to see the musical Newsies ( with sign language involved) That was the original plan. But the play got cancelled and it just didn't make sense to go drive to Utah to stay in a hotel. I wasn't feeling couped up just yet. Come to think of it....I wonder if we ever got refunded for that yet?? hmm We have tried really hard to stay away from everyone not in our immediate household. I have had to stop in to tina's house to use the bathroom a couple of times in pocatello, and we did stop in to grandmas house one time to play in the backyard. We stopped back a second time to get some of little bretts toys from their back yard. We haven't had any family sunday dinners since it all started. I guess we have had zoom calls on sunday to chat and/or play games with Bretts family.

Some of the strange things I've experienced are visiting Walmart with half the people wearing masks, or other random face coverings. People really are special. Having a stay at home order put in place. Then a bunch of people protesting their freedoms and not staying home. A big plastic wrap over the book drop for the library. Its so strange to hear the word "essential" and "pandemic" more times than I ever have before in my life. So many people aren't being able to keep working. The government decided to send out a stimulus check. I think it was to anyone making under 150,000.

I could say a million things about weirdness, but mostly its frustrating. I'm doing ok most days. I have had plenty of roller coaster moments though. A woman's cycle of emotions is no joke. So taken that into account....I'm doing great. I have learned to deal with my emotions...or rather, give myself space to have them. We aren't pregnant yet with number two. That might be one of the hardest life things right now. I think that is why it was so nice to start a job and have friends and see people. I didn't think about little brett not having a sibling a million times a day. At least he had friends to play with at school. The poor kid misses going to walmart and grandmas and just being able to go out and about and do our thing. Yes, I've probably shopped less, but little Brett still tells me everyday new names he would like for his brother and/or sister. haha. He has some creative ones, but I don't think when we do have another kid we will use his names. He might be devastated at first, but he will get over it.

okay. I'll just leave it at that for now. Life has been weird. I need a few deep breaths every now and then....and I'm sick of cooking and playing inside with my kid. I can't wait to browse walmart when I don't want to walk in the cold outside. yeah....I miss people watching. I only get so much of that out my front window. At least I live in an active lil neighborhood.

He's here.

Brett Leon Peterson II was born December 8th 2015 at 1042 am. He weighed 7 lbs and was 20 in long.

It was only a few short weeks ago. I had gone to my Thursday weekly doctor visit and was showing some signs of preeclampsia. They decided that over the weekend I should do a 24 hour urine collection. I was told that the on call doctor would let us know about test results. I never heard back on Saturday so I figured no news is good news. My mom was glad because she was getting here on Saturday evening. Well then Sunday was a resting day for me. Brett slept because he was coming off of a night shift. I don't remember much about that Sunday other than we got accepted for our new apartment and that I had a lil meltdown and couldn't sleep until 2 am. And I had been having some contractions as I sat on the couch at Brett's mom and dad's house for our weekly dinner and game night time.

We had planned to get up Monday morning and have IHOP for breakfast and then my mom and I would go check out a couple stores while Brett donated plasma. Things never go how you plan though. I had been up late going over the email about the new apartment and chatting with Brett. I'm glad I had put my phone on silent. Doctor Pugmire called early and left a message. I think I called her back around 10 when I woke up. She said that I was leaking proteins in my urine which meant I did in fact have preeclampsia. She didn't want it getting any worse and since it was almost my due date she said, "how about you go get some breakfast and then come into the hospital so we can have a baby today!" It was something like that anyway. 

I think I was a little bit frazzled to say the least. I was ready and prepared as much as I mentally could be but there were still things I wanted to clean up and stores I wanted to check out before baby arrived. 

But instead I had to decide what my last meal for the next 24 hours would be. My mom took us out to brunch at Robertos. Which turned out kinda funny that I picked this location. I sat down to eat my burrito around 11 and that's when I realized Robertos is where we went to eat to celebrate finding out we were officially pregnant. Things went full circle. After eating we went to get the car seat base from my car that was in the shop. (Did I mention my radiator cracked Saturday night?) Or maybe it was before, but either way we had to run a few errands before we made it to the hospital. I drove up to the hospital an dropped myself off with my mom and we waited for Brett to park the car. As we were checking in we learned that another woman had checked in to have a baby too. The birthing center was full that Monday. It took a few minutes for my room to be finished and clean but then we were in it for the long haul. It didn't feel like it took long for them to bring me my gown and put an IV in my hand. Dang. Just what I wasn't looking forward to = being stuck in bed. I mean I didn't feel like running around but sitting on the couch seemed like more fun. So they started me on the smallest dose of pitocin along with the Lactated Ringer saline solution. Basically the solution that made my feet and hands swell even worse than I thought humanly possible. I also had to have penicillin every 4 hours. Thankfully my first nurse Jenny was awesome at putting in an IV. Oh and they hooked me up to the baby heart monitor and the contraction monitor. I know I spent some time trying to watch tv and chatting but I never could seem to wanna  fall asleep and get any rest. They all warned me but I'm a night person. The sleepiness hadn't set in. I think it was after 8 when Brett's mom and dad came and had pizza for his dinner. They ate in the visitors room while I tried to get some sleep. But there were so many beeping things I couldn't stay asleep. My blood pressure was being checked every half hour and if it was too high it would be to alert a nurse and if any of the drips on the IV were out it would beep until someone changed it. I'm pretty sure I commented how it seemed worse than a McDonald's kitchen with all the beeps. 

I can't remember what time shift change was but that's when I got my second nurse. Not the favorite but that's just because thing got harder. Of course they were slowly bumping up pitocin and contractions gradually were stronger but she couldn't seem to find the baby's heartbeat as well. And she was so mad about it. Later on we realized baby decided he was going to flip an make it harder to pick up. Which meant he needed to have a probe put on his head. Which meant they had to break my water because that hadn't happened on its own yet. I stayed at a 3cm 70% effaced status for quite awhile. My blood pressure was getting to the point that it needed to be controlled too. I wasn't super excited about getting an epidural but Dr. Pugmire said that would also help with lowering BP too. She gave me a short window to pick that or another drug. But then I learned about having to break my water. I decided getting an epidural was the best option for my body, my baby, and my sanity. I mostly remember my second nurse getting all personally upset because I wasn't wanting an epidural right away. I think she was more relieved that I was okay getting one because then her job would be easier. I gave them the okay and shortly after the doc came in to give me my epidural. I am so glad they let my mom sit on the couch behind the nurse and Brett was able to stand next to me to hold my hand. Not everyone gets so lucky. I was in the middle of the process when a resident doctor came into my room to see what was going on. He said he had gotten kicked out of another room. I always thought I wouldn't want to let in any extra people, but it was okay. They talked more and I got to hear what was going on when they doctors were talking back and forth. That was more interesting to me then sitting through the pain anyway.

I should've written this down much sooner than 3 weeks after the fact. I might have remembered more details. I can't remember how long the night really was for me, but I do remember that I only got one hour of sleep. It was from 3-4 am. I needed a break from all of the pain and they gave me extra drugs in my epidural and that helped me feel nothing and let me sleep for awhile. Brett stayed by my side while I slept. I felt bad because I wanted him there but he couldn't sleep. My room didn't have enough sleeping spots for all of my visitors. Both our moms were with us through the night. We really thought I was going to be having the baby before Brett's mom had to go back to work. She ended up not being able to get a substitute either. I felt bad, but I was focused on getting the baby here.

The memories that stand out the most are when I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like there was no more strength left in me. Each push was bringing baby closer and closer. I had been pushing for hours. I have always had some right hip pain and that was something that was making pushing and relaxing harder too. I couldn't get comfortable enough to get any rest in between pushes. It was rough. I had asked Brett if he could just say a little prayer that this baby would come soon. I think he didn't realize that I wanted him to say it out loud at first. And then I don't remember all the words he said but I do remember hearing the tears in his voice. I think we were both nervous. The doctor told me we could do a csection if I really wanted to but that she thought I could do it because there was progress with every push. I think it was only 10-15 minutes after the prayers and a few extra pushes and he was here. Brett and the doctor had suited up in their gowns and Brett was able to help in catching little Brett to welcome him into the world.

That might have been the biggest relief and strangest feeling ever. No words to describe. They brought him up to where I could see him. I just remember crying and asking to hold him. Brett said, we haven't even cut the cord yet. It all happened so fast. There were so many people in the room and I didn't really noticed anyone but my Bretts. I know the doctor was still delivering my placenta and nurses were prepping to take the baby from me to get his stats, but they put him on my chest. All I could say was how cute he was and it looked like he had my nose. And then as silly as it seemed I thought it was so cute when he peed on me. I was holding him and crying and thinking how tiny he was. His cute lil bum was sitting on me and we were just hanging out. His eyes were so bright and wide. He didn't shut them for the whole first hour it seemed like. Oh and that head of hair was so adorable.

It all seems like a blur. I was just so glad that they let me and Brett keep our baby in our room and with me for quite a few hours before taking him away for more tests. And he was such a champ when it came to his first feeding time. It all seemed to go fairly perfect.

There's more to the hospital stay story but this was it, our little boy had arrived at 10:42 am. He was 7 lbs even and 20 inches long. 14 in head. He was healthy as can be. We are so happy he is a part of our family and we love him so much.