Wednesday, July 21, 2010

There is beauty all around...

Tadaaa!:-D
So what if my phone died when we got to ci ci's pizza tonight. The guy there let me plug it in for a bit so I could do a little bit of texting on my drive home.

This was a beautiful view for me to end my night on. Thanks kara for letting me use your phone to take this picture.

I wanted to do a wordless wednesday post, but then I realized most of my posts are wordless...or have been this last few months.

I should give update on my accident and status of car and junk in life. I feel a mess right now. Maybe thats why I enjoyed the temple and the sunset. Some things in life and all around me are so much in order. Hopefully I can add myself to that mix eventually. I have had a million and one little things go wrong and I know each one of them is something I can get through...but when they all come together at once I just tear up. The limits have been pushed and pushed with me here lately. I got this cheap car. Who cares if it was a bad choice or good choice...it was the decision made. Move forward....right? Ok, so I ask Jordan...who btw got fired....not about him, but it did add a little stress to my day to know his wasnt going too well either....i asked him to do a tune up on my car. We were going to switch cars so he could work on me. No big deal. Tune up ohhh and while you are at it...check the power steering fluid and something else. Just a few things. No big deal. right? wrong. Jordan owns a POJ too. So I got up late for church. I was just rushing to get to my meetings which just ended up being kind of scattered. I was just....having lots of conflicts....frustrated. I had lots sleep the night before and the night before. I just was making choices to stay up late...cause i do that...in fact i'm doing it right now. I stay up late and then think, beth, really....go to bed... But when I get it in my mind that i'm going to do something...like write a blog post, or spend some time finishing a good conversation. I just do it...and think about if it was good or bad later. I dont even really think if it was good or bad...just how is this going to make things for me tomorrow. Seeing how each event stacks on top of the next is interesting. Okay...so back to getting into jordans car to drive it home. it was after 9 and i tried to start it after getting dropped off.... my friend drove right off. I dont blame her, she had a long drive to get home. BUT then it wouldnt start. Battery was dead. UGH< really? sunday was just one thing after another. It wasnt a bad day it was just tough. I think I'm a strong person some days. Then I just sit and cry like a baby. You know when you think you have it hard and then things get even more interesting. yeahhhh I have been getting that. I have still been going to the chiropractor twice a week. Trying to get things with my back and my life all set in order. I keep getting off the car story. I get help in jumping the car, but not after some sparks and a broken shoe. wow. I don't know how to even complain about having a boring life. It doesnt happen. I'm not even telling personal stories. SOoooo car runs. I get home. Then it doesnt run in the morning. I'm an hour late to work....got a ride with a friend. Then....well. I get my car back and come to find out after a fill up and a few minutes sitting in the parking spot. I am losing lots of gas and fast....right under the car. Who knows where the rust spot , or hole or whatever it is ....is even at...but I have a gas leak, pretty major. I dont wanna own that car, and I dont think it will be any good to call the previous owner. So I probably wont even though my brother tells me I should. I got a ride to work today. Speaking of work. I got my letter saying my last day is november 15th....well thats if I want to be able to get unemployment benefits and a severence pkg. Eh. I have to say....i'll probably leave sooner. I should in fact be looking for work online right now, or sleeping...or working on a resume. But this week must be documented. Anyone have a job for me? In the mean time I have made new friends. The branch is good. Church is always good for me. I do love the things I learn in church and the experiences I have with good friends I get to associate with. Friends are hugely important to me. Somedays I just get so frustrated with things I think it would be better to not have such a big group that I'm constantly connected to. Hence the....oh yeah...i left facebook. Hope I havent offended anyone...eh...actually....its whatever. I think I tell less here than I did on facebook and its easier for me to just do my thing here and not worry about other people. I was doing wayyy too much of that. So I deleted all my friends. I'm working on being a better friend in person with people. Which can be hard when you feel like you are being pulled in a million directions. Ohhh the blessing and curse of it all... I want to be friends with as many people as I can...but it is hard to think about the coming and going of so many people. I get close with a few people fast....and I am afraid to lose those ones that are dear to me. Do friendships really ever end? I have had lots of friends come and go...some are harder to let go of. People come into our lives for a reason...or no? opinions? Thats one of those things that I wish I knew but I never will...okay, I cant say all of my thoughts here. I better get going.... I might post about the trip to palmyra later. this week has just been nuts. Todays time out to go to the temple was nice. Brought peace to my life :)

1 comment:

Katrina and Casey said...

hey that was my broken shoe!!!! :) i will never forget that. it put some laughter into the night. love you beth! mean it!