Stressed out...

I had to sit and write a little bit. It helps to be able to use my voice (writing) whichever you prefer towards something other than an assignment. I'm not thrilled to have to write for an assignment...pretty much ever. I have to own up to something to enjoy it. I have to make it my idea for it to even come close to being good. Wow, I'm feeling more and more like my brother with that comment. I think that's how all my brothers are. I think they like stuff their way or just don't talk about it. That is maybe why there are so many times I'm hesitant to ask anyone for advice or help on anything. I don't like doing things any other way than my own. This has proved to be a difficult way of thinking. I tend to have to learn lessons the hard way and over and over again. If you know me, you probably know what a big joke it is that I move so much. Hey, what can I say, I take after my dad. That's how the raised me :) to just move lots. One time I came back to Ohio again and made it to my institute class on a Wednesday night. (love those nights) I talked to my teacher that night and told him I made the decision too last minute and I should have just stayed at home for that point in time. He said, "I knew that, but it wouldn't have meant much to you if I would've told you that". I am beginning to think that is how the Savior teaches me lessons too. I really do have the agency to do whatever it is that I please. I just have to be prepared for the consequences. I'm getting older and starting to feel the consequences of not having too much of a root grown anywhere. Its not so fun to be completely honest. I just want a place to call home. I want stability. Guess that one is something you earn from hard work though. I am not having fun living in Idaho. I don't like the climate whatsoever. Why did I pick to be here in the winter?! So as much as I am not loving it 100%, I know its something I have to stick out for the sake of doing the right thing. I have had a fun young adult life....but not a very responsible one :)... I started at Rick's college in 2000 and years later I'm finally almost to the point of getting an associates degree! Big whoop though. 8 yrs for a 2 yr degree. WOW, how bad does that sound. The advisor told me, "Well, you don't have to tell your employers how long it took you to get your degree". We both kind of giggled, but that made me want to quit even more. I don't feel like a really good student but most times I like to learn. I get super frustrated with disrespectful and stupid people though. Guess I'm still learning life lessons in class more than anything else right now. I have a couple classes that feel like a big joke. I feel like I'm going to get my degree and be thinking to myself, "have I even written a good paper yet?" Actually a couple weeks ago I wrote a poem. I think I should post it here. It goes along with my topic....the being stressed out thing. Its not even just the big things that stress me out, its the little ones too. I'm moving to the apartment next door for the summer. Man, we don't even get the Internet over there! Whatever will I do? (Probably write a good paper or something I suppose) I think I'm going to finish this post and then in a different one put my poem.